Joseph Edwards

Joseph Edwards (one time pirate now programmer) was a web developer at Texas Instruments. Gunned down sadly by a rival group of pirates in the prime of his career Joseph Edwards was known mostly for the fact that he wore all black.

Early Life
Born on a pirate ship in 1985 to notorious pirate Jane and Joseph Edwards XVII Joe was named as was custom in the Edwards family after his father. At the age of four he saw both of his pirates gunned down by the vicious pirate Gray Ear and is rumored to have said "I'll have my revenge if it's that last thing I do"

Rise to Infamy
At the age of 24 Joseph Edwards killed Gray Ear in a vicious battle to the death stabbing Gray Ear in the knee with a spork until he bled out. After this Joseph sailed the seven seas for a few years before settling into a job as a web developer. Close friends and family of Joseph say they remember him being very excited saying "The code she be a cruel mistress".

Death and Legacy
Just as Joseph had begun to get his "Code Legs" tragedy struck. At age 26 Gray Ear's eldest son Purple Toe came to challenge Joseph for his father's murder. Joseph put up a fantastic fight but after 12 hours of being poked with a fork he died of blood loss. To this day it is possible to see people wearing the jolly roger of the "Pirate Coder".

Notable Quotes

  • This node package she be a fools errand
  • Make those scurvy infosys dogs walk the plank
  • Aye these marketers scallywags they be